choose the good

When you start looking at things differently, the things you look at will change. tho Max Planck

***

Many years ago I took care of a man with Alzheimer’s. For six months I fed him, showered him, dressed him, kept him company, wiped him after using the toilet and took him for walks. I was dealing with his ‘crazy’ explosions – like when he tried to hit me, kicked me out of the house, then locked me outside and laughed hysterically outside my window. (Oh yes, hahaha.)

I took care of him because I felt a lot of sympathy for his wife during the entrance interview. She had dark circles under her eyes, she was completely exhausted by trying to take care of him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – but what love she showed to her husband, how tender she looked at him! He had no idea who he really was, but that didn’t deter her. I wanted to help her, so I took the job.

I learned a lot during that time. I was so hypersensitive then that I couldn’t bear to be touched. But sometimes it was impossible to calm the old man in any other way than by holding his hand. I had to hold his hand and find a quiet nook in myself, from which I let the energy gush towards him, and that only drove away the anger he was going through.

I watched him look out the window for hours. He saw things I hadn’t seen. I imagined what she was seeing. I thought maybe she had magic glasses, with the help of which she can see into other worlds.

You could say he suffered, but even though I have no proof for it, I don’t think so. His mind seemed to move in a completely different place, but most of the time he seemed happy and healthy.

The people who could really suffer from it were members of his family. All his children. His intelligent wife. But whether they would suffer or not was their choice – and they decided not to suffer. They consciously decided to take his Alzheimer’s as a part of life. learn and grow as a family. become even closer to each other. ask for help if needed (such as hire me) and create a safety net out of pure love, supporting the man who meant so much to them.

The tragedy of this disease was that it took away a loved one while it was still alive. However, her gift was that she gave them the opportunity to grow – spiritual, family – like nothing else. They were wonderful people. tho Meriah

You can find something positive in everything. There is something good about every person, every situation. In most cases, it is not obvious at first impression. We have to look for it. And sometimes we have to search hard. My old self was happy when I sat idle and peeked around. When I saw the negative side, it was enough for me. I didn’t want to look harder or think too much about the good. It was much, much easier for me to sit idle and just accept what I saw (which was mostly negative).

Now when I encounter a complex and complicated situation, I prefer to think, ‘What can I find good about it?’ No matter how bad the situation is, I always find something good if I really dig into it. Everything – both good and bad – is an opportunity to learn, so at least a bad experience can teach you. But usually there is more to it. If you think really hard, you will usually discover something good in every person or situation. tho taxi

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can change his life by changing his attitudes. tho William James

Choosing a positive approach is more of a process. We don’t decide to do it once and we don’t expect everything to be perfect from that moment on. We will still experience failures, delays, accidents, frustrations, arguments, fatigue and fear. The secret lies in how we choose to respond to these impulses. Will we allow them to ruin our day, or will we decide to pull ourselves together and look forward to the future with hope? We have the power to choose….

If we decide to perceive positively every day, we actually attract more positive experiences and minimize the probability of negative experiences. You may have already noticed that many experiences predetermine the character of others and thus create a chain reaction in our lives. If one little thing fails, it can spoil the plans for our entire remaining day. In this context, it is clear what a positive attitude can have a great influence. Instead of allowing one little thing to ruin our whole day, it’s better to shake it off and move on. tho author unknown